Five things you can do to deal with anxiety in a tween or teen!
I am thrilled to introduce you to Rachel, a social worker, teacher and founder of Tweens2Teen, a wonderful website offering great resources for everyone living or working with young people. Rachel has kindly shared her top tips for dealing with anxiety in a child. Rachel has some great advice for parents of anxious kids, and for anyone working with an anxious child. As parents, it's hard to find good, honest and helpful advice, and that's why I'm always searching the internet for people like Rachel, who can tick all the boxes!
“Worry never robs tomorrow of it's sorrow, it only saps today of it’s joy.”
Anonymous
Anxiety can hold back teenagers and children when it gets a grip, but there are some things parents, youth workers and school chaplains can do to help kids cope. Everyone gets stressed and worries about things, however, anxiety is a deeper sense of worry. Anxiety doesn’t go away when the circumstances change and it looks for other reasons to worry. It’s more than just being anxious.
If you see signs of anxiety in a young person you live or work with, what can you do?
If you have a young person showing signs of anxiety, here are five things worth giving a try:
1. Help them find information
In a recent survey, 15 percent of young people found help online. Youth BeyondBlue and Headspace both have great resources. They also offer phone and online chat support that young people can access at any time.
2. Distract them with some exercise or an activity they usually enjoy
Exercise releases endorphins which are hormones that reduce stress and stabilise moods. This is a great coping skill that young people can learn to use when they start feeling anxious.
3. Put their worries into perspective
Use a gentle voice and talk about how this worry fits into life overall. Point out how they’ve coped with similar things in the past. Sometimes a young person just needs to hear that they’ve coped with something like this before. Just be careful not to minimise the worry or tell them to “get over it”.
4. Get them to bed
Often young people experiencing anxiety can get worked up. To be able to move on, you sometimes need a circuit breaker, and sleep can be perfect for this. Put them somewhere quiet. If possible give them some physical contact by rubbing their back or even holding their hand. Then gently say the same thing over and over, “Just take a rest and then we’ll work it all out…”. Those endorphins that they’ve released will make them want to sleep. You’ve just got to calm them down enough to let their hormones work their magic. It’s surprising how much better they feel after a bit of a rest!
5. Treat them as the expert
Ask them what they think they can do to fix their worry. Sometimes kids will be too agitated for this to work. Other times they’ll come up with a perfect solution. It might be that they decide to speak to the person they feel is causing their stress. Or they might want to make some big changes to avoid that stress altogether. Where this happens, help them think through how reasonable and realistic their ideas are. Get them to come up with a couple of solutions. The beauty of this strategy is that long term it helps them to manage their own anxiety.
Anxiety doesn’t need to be something that limits them for life, as long as kids develop some skills in being the boss of it. That’s where adults can play a part in reshaping their thoughts and helping them to adopt better coping skills.
'Remember, the goal for most kids isn't to eliminate anxiety completely. It's really about giving them the skills to manage anxiety so it doesn't get in the way of enjoying life' - Beyond Blue
Thank you so much Rachel for sharing your advice with Hanging Out With Mermaids. You can read the full article over on Tweens2teen here. We truly value great advice, and appreciate you taking the time to share your tips. Rachel really knows her stuff, and is highly qualified to offer advice to parents. Check out her story here!
If you would like to read more of Rachel's work, and get some valuable advice about raising your youngsters you can find her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Please remember first and foremost, if you think a young person or child really isn't coping, your first point of call should ALWAYS be your GP.